


My R

by YellowSniper64



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Because I hate sad endings, Everyone Needs A Hug, Feels, Gen, Happy Ending, MC's POV, POV First Person, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, major trigger warning, so many feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:34:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26833771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowSniper64/pseuds/YellowSniper64
Summary: Inspired by https://youtu.be/yK8MTabttdEThis will be very triggering, with the constant dark theme of suicide. But if you know me, you know I despise sad endings. The video^^ ends with a hint of hope, and I plan to take that and run with it. If you are interested in reading this, please watch that first. But PLEASE be mindful of the dark topic.I'm sorry my writing may not be the best, but for those of you who do read this-MC does not know any of the characters in advance... supposedly.Anyway.I hope you enjoy "My R"
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel & Main Character, Choi Saeran & Main Character, Han Jumin & Main Character, Kang Jaehee & Main Character, Kim Yoosung & Main Character, V | Kim Jihyun & Main Character, Zen | Ryu Hyun & Main Character
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Zen

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you've seen all the warnings and such by now... so take this different kind of warning.  
> I started writing this fic in January of 2018. I had my former best friend as a co-writer and yet I wrote most of it, save for a couple of sentences here and there. That is why I am taking credit. There have been a few word or sentence changes but other than that... the first two chapters are fully in my writing style of 2018, where I started in January and gave up fully in November as I began falling out of the fandom. It's quite a mess. But I hope that, if I haven't scared you off... enjoy this story :,)

I followed the path of stairs until I reached a wooden door, with the only other way to go being back down. My legs were sore and my breathing was loud. I wasn’t an active person, making it easy for me to feel worn out. A hand, a pale white color, reached out to the roof door. The hinges squeaked slightly, but it opened without too much effort. My eyes squinted due to the light from outside flooding my face as I stepped out onto the place where I hoped my last moments alive would take place. After the small flash of light, my vision adjusted to the person standing at the steep ledge. 

The man, no younger than 20, but no older than 30, was about to put out his leg to the edge of the mountain, accepting his tragic decision, but turned his head, evidently hearing the door open. Even I had to say, he was quite beautiful. White hair reached down to his mid-back, tied in a ponytail. He was much taller than my petite figure. Tears welled in his ruby eyes, spilling out and down his cheeks. He looked so sophisticated and important, why would someone like him be here to-

“Hey, don’t do it please,” my own voice cut off my thoughts.

_ What was I saying? Why should I care? I wasn’t supposed to feel sympathetic… in fact, I was sort of irritated, annoyed, and pissed. It was just an opportunity that had gone to waste.  _

The man started to speak, turned away from me as the tears continued to fall. He spoke of a broken heart, the feeling of being abandoned. Things like this seemed common throughout the world, it was impossible not to have heard of such an experience.  _ This isn’t a reason to end it all,  _ I mentally screamed at the man. The words I said seemed to have made a bigger impact on him then if I said what I had been thinking;

“Are you stupid? Is this really the reason you came before me? Just because you didn’t get what you want, it doesn’t mean you should throw everything else away! Is this why you’re upset? Just be glad you haven’t been robbed of anything!” My voice screamed out, eyes squeezed shut. 

Salty tears formed against my eyelashes, only to be flicked away when my eyes shot open. The man was standing before me, his tall figure blocking my face from the sun. His pale face was tear stricken, but no more fell from his shiny orbs, which I was currently staring into. His voice was soft as he spoke of his gratitude towards my arrival to the roof that day. A strong hand has been placed on my shoulder, pulling me into a hug. I was left confused and emotionally drained as the gorgeous male disappeared down the stairs, from which I had emerged only minutes ago.

_ I guess I’ll save my end for another day… _ I hadn’t eaten all day, since I had skipped breakfast before setting out that morning. I had dozed off into sleep with mild nightmares while on the roof that day. Nothing woke me except for my aching body on the concrete flooring. My tired eyes opened in time to see the sun setting. It was a beautiful contrast to the world I was used to. By the time I was walking to my place of residence, I realized the lack of food took a toll on me. My stomach was aching, so I stopped by a cafe, pulling out some loose change from the pocket in the sweatpants I wore. As I stood in line to purchase whatever was cheapest, I glanced at the TV mounted on the wall. The news story was about a model, and apparently an actor, who had spoken out about suicide. 

“ Hyun Ryu, otherwise known as Zen, has spoken out about suicide on social media. Some may say he had personal experience? Though we don’t know exactly what happened, we are glad that the supermodel is speaking out against and encouraging people not to kill themselves…” a woman stared into the camera as she talked. 

The screen changed to an interview between another woman and… that man? 

“Zen, we have all seen your recent topic on the media. Would you like to explain why you suddenly tried to bring this up?” The woman, tall and thin, asked the man I had seen earlier.

“I don’t want to go into too much detail… but I met someone who talked to me. She told me… something I hadn’t expected. I just want to say I am thankful for her, and I hope she is watching this.” The tall male put it simply.

_ Zen? That’s his name?  _ **_And_ ** _ he’s a model? He has such a good life… so why? I know… he said he was heartbroken, abandoned… doubted and had run away… but his life is changed now. He’s rich, gorgeous, and has thousands of people who love him. I’m just glad he realizes that now. _

The man with the long ponytail, who I had learned was called ‘Zen’, had a certain aura, or feeling radiating from him. I couldn’t quite place it, but maybe something like guilt? Regret? I sighed as I retrieved my food order and walked to my residence, thinking to myself that tomorrow will be the day.


	2. Yoosung

I trekked the path of stairs to the top once more the following day. This time, it was after eating a small makeshift lunch. I shouldn’t have to worry about starving today… 

The door was already ajar when I reached the highest peak of the staircase. A sigh escaped my lips as my light touch opened it all the way. There was another figure up here; someone had arrived before me. He was standing in about the same place that man,  _ Zen was it?, _ was standing yesterday; way too close to the edge. A scream escaped my lips, alerting the figure that I was here. As the figure turned, I saw that it was, in fact, a male. No tears ran down his face, but the reflection of the light clearly showed he had been crying not too long ago. My hand reached out to him, though I didn’t dare to step forward even the slightest bit, in fear that he would try to back away and would fall off. _Why was I so scared for these strangers?_

“Hey, don’t do it please,” I repeated the words from yesterday.

The boy stood in silence, giving me a chance to see him properly. He had short hair with pins keeping bangs from covering his shining purple eyes. His yellow hair seemed unnatural like it had been dyed. He was small in general and looked so fragile. Dark circles seemed to cup around the bottom of his eyes, showing a lack of sleep. The boy wore a blue sweatshirt and black jeans, like what you might expect from that of a teenager. 

My hand was still reaching out to the boy as I spoke yet again, still not daring to move. 

“What’s your name?” I felt like I had to know… it’s like when you meet someone for the first time and want to learn everything about them, except in better conditions. 

“Yoosung Kim…” the blonde answered hesitantly. “W-what about you?”

“I’m just a nobody, you don’t have to worry about my name.” I smiled to play it off, then changed the subject. 

“Come down.” 

The boy, apparently called Yoosung, slowly reached his hand to my outstretched one. My fake smile didn’t matter anymore as he stepped down, apologizing profusely. 

“Don’t apologize to me.” I commanded.

Yoosung seemed to be shaken up but nodded. I found him stuttering through a story of his life. Except, not exactly. He spoke of the lies, all the lies. It was the kind of thing everyone went through… He spoke of the failures and the person who’d betrayed him. The person that was still out there somewhere. The person that might find themselves in this same situation sooner or later. Yoosung also told me that he didn’t belong. 

I managed to take a deep breath before-

“Are you kidding me? I can’t believe that this is your stupid reason to get here before me. You still have people close that love you. You can count on them to be there for you. You never know, they could be waiting for you now. There is still your mother to make meals for you, you know?” My voice cracked as I talked, knowing that he still had a good life ahead of him and that he was stupid enough to just-

“I’m hungry,” he sobbed, thinking of his mother. 

He let go of my hand, which I had forgotten that he was still holding, and wiped his tears. I ruffled his hair, not knowing what else to do. Just like Zen from the day before, Yoosung pulled me into a hug. As he pulled away, he pressed his lips to my forehead, saying one last ‘thank you’ before retreating to the stairs. Unlike last time, I didn’t stay after the male left. As soon as I was sure that there was a good distance between us, I trudged down the stairs. Instead of heading to my place of residence, I found myself in front of the public library. I came here often since it was the only place where I had access to computers.

As I stepped into the old building, I could feel the temperature change, due to their running heater. This place was the closest I could get to home. A  _ proper _ home. I shook my head, walking to the separate room of devices. Laptops, iPads, and Macbooks were plugged in and resting on desks. I made my way over to the desk I always work at, opening the Laptop resting on top. Opening the google search bar, I recalled the name of the boy. ‘Yoosung Kim’ I typed in. I wanted to see if I could learn anything about that boy.

I found out that he was at the top of the leaderboard in a game called LOLOL. He was in line for a big company I’ve never heard of. I wasn’t surprised that I couldn’t recall the name from anywhere. Due to my lack of resources, I’m left in the dark about the things going on around me. I sighed as I logged off the public computer, pushing the chair back so I could stand up. As I was walking towards the front exit, I was stopped by a woman. She was tall and skinny, with a dark skin tone and dyed red hair. I’ve seen her working at the library, and have talked with her on a few occasions, but could never remember her name. 

“Hello! You look tired and hungry, why don’t you stop by my house?” She offered. 

To anyone else, I would have refused any sort of help, but I know from the past that she is a persistent woman. I shrugged, not bothering to start an argument I knew I couldn’t win. When she asked me what I had been doing on the computer, I panicked slightly. I couldn’t just tell her ‘oh, I’m just stalking some boy that was going to commit suicide that I met when I was going to go kill myself. You know, the usual’. Hoping she didn’t notice the sweat forming on my forehead, I shrugged, simply stating that I was doing research. 

I was invited inside her house, which was small since she lived alone. She offed food that I couldn’t resist and told me to sit on the couch as she went to grab something. In that small time, I apparently fell asleep since I was aware that I was in a dream; a dream of the past two  _ tries _ . I awoke with a start, realizing that a blanket had been put over me. It was in the middle of the night, which made me feel bad for intruding in lady’s house. A note was left out, instructing me how to reheat the dinner that I had missed. I quietly did so, afraid to arouse the woman from her sleep. 

After eating, I collected the thin jacket I had taken off when I arrived and proceeded to look for the keys to the front door. I also grabbed a pen and paper, writing a messy ‘thank you’ on it and sticking it to the door with tape. I’m planning on making this be the last time I’ve seen this woman. What a shame, she was so nice. I should’ve at least asked for her name again. I sighed, pushing open the door into the cold air. Might as well get an early start…

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone who may have read this and been curious! I fell out of the fandom after only doing two routes; Jaehee's and Seven's. Now that I am back in the fandom, I wasted a lot of money to be able to start V's route, which I shall be getting to in the next day or so!  
> So yeah, that's where I'm at :) I'll get the second chapter I had written out tonight and then I'll try to write the third chapter soon, in my current writing style- which may have gotten worse, honestly-


End file.
